How to Tell If Someone’s Lying Just From Looking At Their Hands…

It’s a fact: other people’s lies make our lives more difficult. They distort and twist the truth, con us into believing things never happened, or took place when they shouldn’t have. There are literally thousands and thousands of ways people’s untruths and falsehoods taint and make living our daily lives more of an effort than it really should be.

So what can we do about it?

How can we put a stop to lies the second we hear them and reveal the real truth, the actual facts, the exact situation?

The answer is natural lie detection – techniques, strategies and knowledge that give a person the rare and invaluable ability to separate the real from the fake and always know what to believe and what to question.

So, what does it consist of? Well, natural lie detection uses no machines, test papers, no video or audio recordings. It is, as the name suggests, a science based on human perception and skill.

It has 3 main components. They are the interpretation and analysis of: body language, psychology, and verbal communication. By having a deep and expert knowledge of all three, you can become capable of spotting 99 out of 100 lies, whether they’re spoken over the phone, in person or even over the internet or via text message. Although learning these special techniques isn’t difficult when you have the time and proper reading material, it does require more space to explain than this short article allows. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t go over one way many liars give themselves away. This collection of principles falls under the body language category of natural lie detection and focuses solely on how a dishonest person uses, or avoids using, their hands when they’re being deceitful. There are 3 main hand-related signals of deceptiveness.

Signal #1: HAND GESTURE FREQUENCY. People use their hands to visually illustrate and emphasise their statements – it’s a way of painting an abstract picture in the air to better help the person or people they’re talking to understand the concepts being covered. When someone lies, however, their mind works differently to how it normally operates. Their thought process is dominated by the act of being dishonest convincingly and they therefore tend to change how they use their hands. The first change you should look for is in how often they gesticulate with their hands while talking. The majority of people, when they lie, lessen the amount of movements they make with their hands because they subconsciously want to restrict the volume of information being given to the person they’re lying to – out of fear of saying too much, either verbally or physically, and getting caught out or questioned. More proficient liars, or people who have rehearsed or planned a lie before telling it, actually tend to increase the frequency of their hand gestures. They’ll slice the air more with the blade of their hand or point their finger and clench their fists more frequently to illustrate and back-up what they’re saying. So, in short, look for a marked difference between the amount of hand gesticulations a person uses when in normal, day-to-day, obviously truthful conversation and when you suspect they may be lying to you or have a good reason to twist or otherwise alter the truth.

Signal #2: HAND-TO-FACE ACTIONS. The second signal you should look out for is an increase in the number of hand-to-face actions a person makes when you think they could be lying. The main reason they touch their faces more often when lying than when telling the truth is because of the internal social pressure they’re feeling, which leaks out in the form of hand-to-face actions. Look for moments when the person momentarily covers their mouth with their hand or fingers. This is a subconscious attempt to stifle themselves and physically block the lie from leaving their lips – they do this to futilely try to block their falsehood from reaching you and thereby decrease the chance of getting caught and lessen their feeling of guilt. However, many people are on some level aware of how mouth covers may be interpreted (as a sign that they’re lying) so instead try to camouflage the action by instead lightly touching their nose (which indirectly covers their mouth with their hand). Another reason many liars touch their noses is because of the increased blood-flow that occurs in its deep tissues, which creates an almost imperceptible tingle that, although not consciously felt and reacted to, causes the liar to unwittingly touch their nose for a moment. So, always keep an eye out for increased hand-to-face actions, especially those that cover a person’s mouth in some way or another.

Signal #3: THE HAND SHRUG. When people don’t know the answer to something or want to convey the messages: “I’m not sure,” or “I don’t care,” they often lift and quickly drop their shoulders in a shrugging motion. A variation of shoulder shrugging is the hand shrug: a quick lifting and dropping of one or both upturned hands. Like shrugging with the shoulders, it’s a way of expressing a type of diminished responsibility in regards to an issue or topic – and that’s why liars tend to overuse the hand shrug while being dishonest. Instead of using it only to accompany words that express a feeling of uncertainty or ambivalence – the way people do when being honest – liars use the hand shrug alongside verbal statements that don’t relate to “not knowing” or “not caring.” They do this subconsciously to distance themselves from the lie they’re telling.

Look for these 3 signs of potential dishonesty whenever you suspect someone might be lying and you’ll be a step closer to becoming a true master of deceit detection – a human lie detector.

Simon Cruise is the expert author of Detect Deceit, a revolutionary guide that details how anyone can learn to become a master of lie detection, with the ability to analyze the things people say and do and instantly judge whether or not they can be trusted.Learn the tell-tale signs all cheating lovers leave behind

Digital Betrayal: How cheating husbands and wives use phones and computers to communicate

These days it’s easier than ever to communicate with people – we’ve got high-speed internet connections (wireless & otherwise), mobile phones, pagers, fax machines. We can talk at the touch of a button, across cities, countries, the entire world. Furthermore, communication through these digital protocols is almost instant, fairly cheap and – if you want it to be – completely private and hidden.

While advancements in digital communication are, on the whole, a great thing, they do have their down sides. One disadvantage is that cheating husbands, wives (or, for that matter, girlfriends or boyfriends) can communicate with their private lovers away from the prying eyes and ears of their trusting partners. It happens every day: thousands upon thousands of text messages are sent by disloyal men and women to those they’re sleeping with behind their real partners’ backs.

Back in the day, the only way a guy or girl could arrange a clandestine meeting would be over a hard-line (either a house phone or a payphone). That meant the cheater would either have to make risky calls from the home of their unsuspecting spouses, or secretly take a trip to a local call box and do it from there. Both of these methods of communication could often be spotted by the betrayed party quite easily.

But that’s now a thing of the past. It’s now a cinch for a cheater to send messages to their secret lovers from work, a locked bathroom, even from under the bed covers while their current, faithful partner sleeps quietly and 100% unaware of what’s going on just 6 inches away from them.

It’s true; things are easier for cheaters these days…but not that easy. Just as all others kinds of cheats – be it a card shark, a conman or a computer hacker – leave signs of their dishonesty behind, so do disloyal partners. And looking for the right signs, in the right places, is the absolute best way of knowing for sure if you can trust your partner.

Okay, you know now how easy it is for cheaters to communicate with their secret partners using digital communication. But what are the signs, the indications, the clues of this kind of activity? Let’s take a look:

1. Computers offer cheaters a multitude of communication methods, including: email, instant messenger programs, chat rooms and forums. Although it can be difficult to tell what your partner’s doing online without actually looking over their shoulder (tricky!), there are indications you can look for more easily. One is an increased amount of time spent at the computer for no apparent reason, perhaps when you’re in bed or before you get up. Another is your partner quickly turning off the computer monitor or turning it away from you when you enter the room.

Also, try checking the internet browsing history of the computer your partner uses most often. Sometimes there are web pages, chat room locations or other signs that your partner has been taking part in internet infidelity to be found there. Other times, you’ll find that the browser history has been freshly deleted – this, as you can imagine, could be equally suspicious.

2. As mentioned earlier, mobile/cellular phones make quick and private communication easy. If you feel comfortable doing so, checking your partner’s phone’s call history, address book and text message archive can provide you with a wealth of telling information. Bear in mind, though, that cheating partner’s – in an effort to remain uncaught – often keep their phones on their person most of the time. If your partner used to leave their phone lying around, but now never seems to do so, you must ask yourself why.

3. Last but not least, don’t forget or ignore the “old” style methods of cheater communication. Many cheaters still use house phones to call their secret lovers. Check your itemized phone bill for calls to local numbers you don’t recognize and that aren’t in your phone book. Also, pay attention to how your partner reacts when you walk into the room when they’re on the phone. It’s difficult to mask panic and surprise when the partner you’re cheating on walks into the room while you’re chatting to your secret significant other. Quick hang-ups could be a sign your partner’s being disloyal over the phone and, perhaps, elsewhere.

By keeping your eyes peeled and ears open, you can sidestep the advantages new methods of communication offer cheaters and, hopefully, discover what’s really going on.
Learn the tell-tale signs all cheating lovers leave behind

Picking Up Women: How to Make Easy, Fun Conversation That Leads to Attraction & Sexual Chemistry

There are two main ways in which we communicate with others: non-verbal communication and vocal/verbal communication. You probably already know a little about the non-verbal side of things, such as the types of body language that silently signal someone’s nervous, excited or angry. But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals? That’s the subject we’re going to look at today. Except we’re going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

Let’s first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex? The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make – things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder – rather than help – his chances of hooking up with her.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there – suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence – is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it. The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be. Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP. This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH. It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up – after all, it might not happen again for ages! So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up. He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.

Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING. Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You don’t want to throw too many her way too quickly. If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning – ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to. Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses. “Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good.

Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl. Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy – the kind of man women love – isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.

Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl. But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the girl’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

Learn how to talk to any hot girl with absolute confidence

How to pick up a beautiful woman: Eradicating self-limiting beliefs

What dictates how successful a person can become in any given field? Is it chance, fortune, good luck? No.

Take an athlete for example, regardless of their chosen discipline, they must WORK at becoming the best. Even if they got lucky with their genes, have a good build or quick reactions, it is absolutely vital they learn, understand and PRACTICE whatever sport it is they want to master. If they don’t, they will never be number one, or even anywhere close. The very same principle applies to attracting and seducing women, quite simply, the looks or assets you were or weren’t blessed with naturally mean nothing if you cannot master the psychological side of the game. For example, there’s a guy who looks like Brad Pitt’s better looking long-lost brother, his body, hair and dress-sense are all flawless. But, when he opens his mouth…nothing. His attitude, personality and character fall completely flat and instantly put off every woman in the room. He’s gone from being a mysterious, handsome stranger, to an unexciting and tedious guy, who’s good for nothing except looking at and admiring – which gets very boring, very fast. Now, the reverse. There’s a guy who doesn’t immediately stand out of the crowd because of what he looks or dresses like or because of the car he’s just rolled up in. Women are fairly neutral towards him, they neither feel attracted to him or turned off. Then, he talks and it’s like a fire has been lit, he’s fun, charming and great to be around – in short, massively attractive.

If you want to be that first guy, I don’t know what to suggest, except perhaps painful, expensive surgery. But if you’d rather resemble the second man (as any sane guy would), you need to do something a little different – you need to eradicate self-limiting beliefs. Self-limiting beliefs are the internal thoughts and feelings that hold you back and restrict your ability to succeed. They’re irrational and counter-productive thoughts that everyone has, but very few people try to get rid of – which is why so few men are truly successful with women. Here are a couple of examples of self-limiting beliefs:

1. “Nah, she’s too good-looking. She wouldn’t be interested in a guy like me.”

2. “Women can sense inexperience and won’t give a guy the time of day if they think he’s not sophisticated or experienced.”

3. “Girls only want sex with strings attached and would never consider sleeping with me unless I have money or a powerful job.”

4. “That girl’s way too popular – just look at the guys who are already all over her. She’s rejecting them so would definitely say no to me.”

The crazy thing with self-limiting beliefs is that they only restrict YOU and you alone. They do this because they are not logical, true facts that are widely accepted as fundamental truths. They’re manifested in your mind because you feel nervous and apprehensive – it’s your body’s way of protecting itself, just like it would have thousands of years ago to stop you getting into physical danger. These days, the only danger is that you miss a golden opportunity to hook up with a great, sexy girl. Here are 3 simple rules to always remember, use them to get rid of self-limiting beliefs.

Rule 1. Ground yourself in the present and don’t think about the past or potential future. If you’re in a bar looking at a girl from afar, forget about times gone by that you cocked up a first impression. Furthermore, don’t try to predict what could go wrong or awry. Your goal, of meeting and getting together with a hot female, is a positive one – so keep all thoughts before, during and after meeting her positive, too.

Rule 2. Don’t let other people mould your perception of yourself and the situation you’re in. Forget about the guys around you, all trying to impress girls and assert themselves as alpha males. When you show a care-free, easy-going attitude to how to move, talk and behave you become infinitely more attractive to women than all the men who are blatantly trying too hard.

Rule 3. Let negative thoughts and phrases, like those above, slip completely from your consciousness. Looks, wealth and social status mean little when they aren’t accompanied by a strong, attractive persona and personality. Let your words and confident body language take precedence and forget all about superficial possessions and all-too-common “good looks.”

W. Wilcox is the author of HypnoDate – a revolutionary manual that teaches men how to use special hypnotic principles to become masters of attraction and seduction, without the need for good looks, money or a flash car. More Info Here Top Secret Seduction Techniques For Use By Men On Women - Exposed By Female Traitor

Forget everything you THINK you know about premature ejaculation – things have changed!

Good things are happening in the world of men’s health and fitness and they’ve been slowly improving for a while now. A perfect example of the kind of positive progress I’m referring to is in the subject of male sexual health, namely: premature ejaculation.

That’s quite a daunting, almost terminal-sounding term. But in essence, all it really means is that your performance in bed – its length in minutes, or maybe even seconds – isn’t something you’re happy with. If you’ve recognized that your sexual abilities aren’t quite up to scratch and have therefore decided to seek an answer to the problem (a way of massively improving your lasting power FOREVER) then you’re already way, way ahead of most guys who share the same concerns as you over their love-making prowess. And let’s face it: what guy WOULDN’T love to quickly and permanently boost their sexual skills?

So, what do most men already know about how to extend sex? Well, I suppose there’s the old classic: taking your mind off it. You can think of non-sexual things, like dead animals, or perhaps try difficult mental arithmetic. This technique works some of the time, for some men. Another method of lasting longer many men try is wearing two condoms, to decrease the sexual sensation and thereby lengthen their performance. Again, this sometimes works for some guys.

I think you’ve probably already spotted the problem with both of these methods, though – they decrease your fun and enjoyment. Sex should be exciting and hassle free! Negative thoughts have no place in great sex. And wearing two condoms, while it may give you a little more time to work your magic, can actually cause more problems than it solves – like a tear caused by a trapped air bubble. That’s the last thing you need.

Thankfully, many simple and stress-free techniques exist that can be used instead of the two above. Combining just a few of the most effective of these methods is often enough to eradicate the problem of premature ejaculation forever. Let’s take a look at one of the best right now: Breath Control.

“The way I breathe? I doubt that has much effect on my sexual performance!”

Most men are right to be sceptical – especially considering the fact that many of us guys have tried controlling our breathing while having sex without any noticeable improvement. The reason we don’t see much difference in performance length and overall impressiveness, quite simply, is because we’re not doing it right. We’ve summarized the technique of deep breathing in our heads and in so doing removed any benefit PROPER breath control can have for us fellas while getting down and dirty.

Let’s look at how it SHOULD be done:

1. Keep your focus on your lower torso. As you breathe in, push out your belly and your lower ribs. Don’t suck your stomach in like most people do when they try to breathe deeply. Think of the breathing action as going out and in rather than up and down. If your chest moves before your belly, or you notice your shoulders rising and falling significantly, you’ll simply reinforce the habit of anxious breathing. Anxious breathing massively decreases your ability to control your sexual arousal. Deep breathing does the reverse and gives you the control back.

2. Keep the breathing natural; don’t try to force it to be perfectly regular. Allow each breath to take the shape and time that feels natural to it. Then rest a little at the end of the out-breath, and wait for the in-breath to start when it wants to. Forcing regular breathing during sex, which MILLIONS of men do daily in, actually creates more mental anxiety than it eradicates. Keeping it natural and unforced further de-stresses your mind and by doing so gives you heightened control over your body – namely, your sexual pleasure.

There’s a multitude of other 100% natural, easy to learn and even easier to use, techniques that can – however much of a surprise it comes as to most men – enhance your performance in bed. You can it make it longer and much more pleasurable to your and your woman, without the pills, sprays or creams so many other men who seek an answer to premature ejaculation use to disappointing effect.

Practice the deep breathing technique above, use it during sex and reap the sexual control benefits! Then, if you want to improve still further, learn and use a few other great arousal management methods.

For more information on how to easily and effectively control your performance in bed, check out Edward White’s book: "The Ultimate Orgasm and Ejaculation Control Manual." http://bnzy75.prejac.hop.clickbank.net It’s available Here

What is the TRUE average penis size and is it possible to enlarge it NATURALLY?

The average penis size has been a “bone” of contention for decades and decades. The reason it’s so frequently debated, argued over and worried about is because the issue affects so many people, male and female. For men, a small penis means possible harassment in gym showers and embarrassment in bed. For women it presents a different problem: its below-average size could well limit their sexual pleasure and at the same time inhibit the man’s confidence so much that his sexual performance could also be unsatisfactory.

It’s really no wonder penis size, and the average length and girth of the male anatomy, is talked about so much – by millions of people all over the world, of both sex, it’s almost considered a yardstick for a guy’s manhood. A small penis is bad, while a big, thick penis is good – the line has been clearly drawn in the sand, regardless of whether it’s right or wrong. I’ll tell you right now what the average size is. Forget about the average penis sizes of different races; even if there is a slight difference it won’t affect you much. Here’s the only figure that might: the average size is about 5 and 3 quarter inches in erect length. The average girth is about 5 inches around (which might sound a lot, but wrap a fabric tape measure around your own and it’ll seem much more modest).

Thing is, knowing those numbers doesn’t put most men at ease and I doubt it has you. Why? Because it doesn’t change anything. Yeah, you might be half an inch bigger than average, or perhaps an inch thicker down below than most other guys, but that feeling of inadequacy, of wanting more, is probably still there. It’s completely natural, too. Let’s say you’re 6 and a half inches long when erect, knowing you’re an inch and a bit bigger than average is great, right? But at the very same time, you know lots of guys have 7, 8 or 9 inch penises – how great would that be? And that right there is the true subject of this article. Forget averages, let’s talk enlargement.

Right off the bat, natural penis enlargement (that is, making your penis longer and thicker without surgery, without pills and without crazy suction devices) is completely possible. Instead of telling you how it is or why it works, I’ll describe how you can see for yourself how truly achievable new penis growth is. Let’s look at a technique called a ‘Dry Jelq’ – it’s used to target new, permanent growth in the thickness of your erect AND flaccid penis.

Step 1. Get a 40-50% erection, no more, no less.

Step 2. Create a circle using the thumb and forefinger of your right hand. It should look like the ‘OK’ sign people make when they want to signal something’s good or acceptable. Your other fingers (middle, ring and pinky) should be outstretched.

Step 3. Firmly grip the base of your penis using the ‘OK’ sign and slowly move your grip upwards towards the head of your penis. Don’t slide over the skin. Instead, focus on keeping your fingers on top of the same area of flesh all the time, while still sliding up and along the shaft. Think of it like the motion used when milking a cow. The blood in your penis is forced up towards and into the head.

Step 4. After you’ve milked from the base to just below where the head of your penis starts, release your grip. You’ve completed one repetition or ‘rep’. Do 20-30 reps for your first session and increase it to 50 once you’ve been doing it a couple of weeks.

The Dry Jelq is just one technique of dozens that have been specially designed and tested and that truly work, with a little bit of patience and practice, at increasing the size of your penis. After using dry jelqs for a couple of weeks you’ll already notice that your penis hangs heavier and lower day-to-day and that it feels more weighty and solid when you’re hard. Using this and the other fundamental techniques as a routine that you do a couple of times a week, you can not only TRULY forget about averages but also forget about BEING average.

Roger is a ‘personal trainer’ at PenisAdvantage ! – a site containing a complete guide that details exactly how any guy can enlarge his penis using natural exercises and techniques

How to Seduce a Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’

There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘'seduction game’!
– that is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when the themselves are out playing the game. It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection. Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to – sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.

This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t) – there’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing. You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth. She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.

However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends. When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful. As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have – and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place. Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.

1. Use strong eye contact when talking to all of the girls. However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target. This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.

2. Casually make physical contact with her friends more than her. For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.

3. When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.

Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!

Want more information about Click Here And Know how to attract and seduce women !
with the GuyGetsGirl system?

Love at first sight?

Yes, men think so...or is it 'lust' at first sight? How can a woman or man 'really' know?

If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you to be this man).

Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in and kind of spoil it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.

'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were. See how selfish we as people really are?!

Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated, individualistic cultural society).

You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler' people.

If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural attraction.

This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is slightly different for men and women.

Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a mans character attributes because that are things that can be of interest for the long haul.

These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself wrong to her right away.

She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just 'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex 'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance novels).

Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'.

If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not screw it up."

Sure the movie ends with a kiss but who has the control here? Whose reality is he in? Love at first sight, but he is based in the wrong paradigm of 'being' that he WILL screw it up because of the power dynamics and several other factors (she is in control by far).

In fact, you will almost put aside the entire notion of 'love at first sight' because it's too romancey for you (although you may secretly keep that dream alive); but you understand reality a little more, that different relationships with different women are going to give you different experiences.

Of course you may be aware of lust at first sight with women you see most everywhere you go, but you really have to get to know her more to find out who she is, otherwise it is all just perception.

If you can develop yourself to look as good as you can and get your internal paradigm and life straight and clear, then you can naturally accelerate the process of attracting women and starting things with little effort. Your focus should really be on developing yourself and living in a natural paradigm, while denying all of the perceptual B.S. that is going on. Be an interesting and intriguing man and improve yourself; HAVE something to offer women who are lucky enough.

Your 'love at first sight' from their point of view only happens if you match their social ideal (and traditional ideal of Prince Charming) and then know how to take everything from there...then all women will want you. You do not have to be Prince Charming..that is another article, but remember how you relate to her says everything. She needs to be turned up like a volume knob and you have to interact with her to spark the process of sexual attraction and her interest will grow in you...through time, may lead to infatuation, love, great respect, devotion, passion, etc. from her.

It is all in how you relate to her so don't pay too much attention to having to have Brad Pitt looks, with Soros' bank account...that's the same as you wanting to date a supermodel, except you probably have a better chance than she does to meet your ideal because there are so few men left who really get it and are a great catch in their own right (with some nice social status to boot).

There are countless beautiful women. The advantage and favor is in YOUR hands. There are few men left who are awesome catches AND who know how to deal with these women. Make women want you just by being your true self at all times; an interesting, funny, great guy and know how to take it from there (I can help you there as well).

How Did Online Dating Become So Popular?

The reason is pretty simple. It is very much the same reason that the internet itself became so popular. The Internet opens up a whole new world of communication and contact. And the reasons for this are given below.

Speed

Try to picture what used to happen earlier in the days when people had to depend on the good ol’ postal system. During those days, a person had to wait for one or two days for a letter to get across to a person who lived in the same state itself. The second person in turn would take one or two days to respond and this letter would take on or two days to get back to the first person.

So in effect, a single correspondence would stretch over a week. But now it’s a totally different story. The time taken for the first letter and the response has been brought to an amazing 2 minutes! Waiting may make the heart grow fonder but e-mail makes two people get close faster!

Privacy

The Internet provides for absolute privacy too. One can carry out communication with another person in the absolute privacy of one’s bedroom or bath room or wherever one chooses to be. There is no fear of eavesdropping (ugh) or over hearing (shudder!) thanks to e-mail and chat facilities.

Options and Opportunities

The Internet provides for other options like voice chat or video conferencing and stops short only of the physical touch. But then who would want to start a relationship by touching right away? You can see a person, talk to a person, and listen to the person’s voice, can you think of a better way to start a date?

Economy

All this and more is possible thanks to the internet and the best part is that all this comes to you for peanuts. All you need is a P.C (who doesn’t have one?) and an Internet Connection (how can anybody live without one) and you are all set. The only thing more you could ask for is a step by step guide to find your dream date…well here it is!

How Did Online Dating Become So Popular?

The reason is pretty simple. It is very much the same reason that the internet itself became so popular. The Internet opens up a whole new world of communication and contact. And the reasons for this are given below.

Speed

Try to picture what used to happen earlier in the days when people had to depend on the good ol’ postal system. During those days, a person had to wait for one or two days for a letter to get across to a person who lived in the same state itself. The second person in turn would take one or two days to respond and this letter would take on or two days to get back to the first person.

So in effect, a single correspondence would stretch over a week. But now it’s a totally different story. The time taken for the first letter and the response has been brought to an amazing 2 minutes! Waiting may make the heart grow fonder but e-mail makes two people get close faster!

Privacy

The Internet provides for absolute privacy too. One can carry out communication with another person in the absolute privacy of one’s bedroom or bath room or wherever one chooses to be. There is no fear of eavesdropping (ugh) or over hearing (shudder!) thanks to e-mail and chat facilities.

Options and Opportunities

The Internet provides for other options like voice chat or video conferencing and stops short only of the physical touch. But then who would want to start a relationship by touching right away? You can see a person, talk to a person, and listen to the person’s voice, can you think of a better way to start a date?

Economy

All this and more is possible thanks to the internet and the best part is that all this comes to you for peanuts. All you need is a P.C (who doesn’t have one?) and an Internet Connection (how can anybody live without one) and you are all set. The only thing more you could ask for is a step by step guide to find your dream date…well here it is!

Warning Signs: Your Guy May be a Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right

1. He always make plans at the last minute.

He may have several rods on the fire. You might not be his favorite rod. If nothing else comes along then you pop into his head. Some men just like to keep their options open. They have several choices available and don't want to make the wrong decision or commit to a date too soon in the event that something better might come along. You have to decide if this is something you can tolerate. If you are not that into him either, it may work out perfectly for you (a girls gotta eat), but if you are waiting by the phone this may be sign to move on. I personally would not feel I was being treated respectfully in this situation.I would feel I deserved to be treated better.

2. He's not taking an active role in becoming part of your world.

If a man is serious about you, he will usually make the effort to get to know the people who are important to you. Whether it's your friends or family, he will want it to be known that he is your man and he will usually try hard to make a good impression. This is how some men mark their territory. Hey, it doesn't hurt if everyone loves him and sings his praises to you. If he doesn't care about that, he simply might not care about you. If he does care about you, but doesn't want to be involved in your world... well, that's a whole other story. You come to your own conclusion, but if it were me... I'd rethink the relationship.

3. He doesn't go to events that are important to you.

Once in awhile if he has a good excuse or is ill or something...that's ok. If you see a pattern, it may be time to trade up. Something that is important to you should be equally important to him. If it is not, then it might be a sign that either he is not that into you, he prefers his friends to you, or he is simply too self-centered to stop for a minute and please someone other then himself. If you've really hit the jackpot, he may be a combination of all three. Either way, pay attention to the signs and decide if you feel you are worthy of more.

4. He stays in close contact with his single friends.

If a guy does not part with his single friends, you can be fairly certain he is not going to give up the single life either. Some guys are just players: they have to keep their options open and have a certain amount of emotional distance. Having single friends when you are dating is the best of both worlds. He may continue to get close to you, but his friends are never far behind. They attend events with you and have permission to just drop by at their whim. You don't want your guy to give up his friends, but it may be a sign of trouble if he insists that you spend most of your time together hanging out with his buddies.

If he is not a player, but just very social, make sure your needs are met as well. Hanging out with the buds can be fun, but sometimes alone time is also needed in a relationship. If the situation meets your needs, then great. If not, then decide if this is something you can get used to.

5. Night time is the right time... all the time.

If he loves the nightlife and the nightlife loves him even after you have been dating for a while, this might just be his way of life. If this is your way of life, then you have just met your soulmate. I wish you well. However, historically when couples first start dating they tend to go out a lot, stay out late, and dance the night away. Once you settle in, though, and get closer in the relationship, the pendulum swings to quite nights at home and romantic dinners. If this is where you are hoping the pendulum would swing, then it may be a good time to express your needs and see if he can meet them. Don't ask or expect him to change if that is who he is and what makes him happy. Accept the fact that you want different things. It may be time to send this one back and explore the other "fishies in the sea".

6. You never see him more then once a week (ok... sometimes twice), even after you have been dating several months

Is he super busy or are you play toy number 7? He might have one for every day of the week, and you only can see him twice if numbers 1 through 6 are busy. Hey, it happens ... mostly because he has been allowed to get away with it. Just don't be naive and think he is sitting home 6 nights alone. If this is acceptable to you, then by all means enjoy your time together when it happens. I guess you will certainly never get sick of each other. If you need more see if he can (or more importantly will) meet your needs. If not...get those shoes on and start walking.

7. You only have his cell number after you have been dating each other for a more then a month.

If it's been months and you haven't asked him about that...allow me...he's either living with someone else or he doesn't want you calling his house in case he has another woman over. The cell phone he can turn off or set to vibrate... How perfect is that? When you are into someone (and not dating other women too) you want her to feel free totally comfortable calling you anytime. It shows commitment and openness. If he is not showing these signs outwardly, it might be an indication that you are dating a very busy man. If it feels like a duck and quacks like a duck... yup, it's a duck. This little trick was used on me, and I must say I didn't catch on for quite a while. I was too naive...I'm all grown up now.

e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?

I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match" for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single - gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it comes assembled.

The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a "computer personality test" of some sort. Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a "top psychologist", have the ability to understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don't worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do.

Remember the Broadway play “Fiddler on The Roof”? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was “matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…” The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect.

But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She decides that “playing with matches, a girl can get burned”.

So, do these tests really work?

Personality tests have a long history. Really, really smart guys with names like Freud, Maslov, Fromm, and Jung developed respected psychological theories, and these theories are used as the basis for all types of tests. “The Big Five” theory suggests that there are five dimensions of personality: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Some popular personality tests use this as a foundation. Others go the “Big Three” route, which does away with the “openness” and “agreeableness” dimensions - mostly because it’s easier to remember.

I joke a little about these theories, but the truth is that they’ve survived the test of time and there is a ton of scientific research behind them. The real question is if these tests can be effective in applying a theory to the complexity of a human being. Add to this the additional layer of meshing your answers with another, equally complex person. That’s a tall order.

People have impulsive behavior that simply can’t be measured when they’re sitting, relaxed and introspective, taking one of these tests. Often our answers reflect our perfect (or hopeful) idea of ourselves. Even if we are trying our best to be honest, our impulsive behavior in real-life situations can be far different than we’d expect.

Another wildcard is attraction. We can meet someone who’s empirically good-looking, has a similar background, is kind and successful – and yet we’re not attracted. Often we can’t explain why we like another person. It may be how they make us laugh, a crooked smile – even how they smell! Sometimes little things that are immeasurable on their own can collectively make us attracted.

Human beings and our emotions and desires are far too complex, and a computer program can’t solve the riddles of our romantic lives. As Jung put it, “the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is a reaction both are transformed”. It sounds good, but even Jung was hedging his bet when it comes to love. What will cause two individuals to react to each other? Even the developers of the study of personality would not presume that a series of questions could predict romance.

If you rely solely on matchmaking services, you are missing the entire beauty of online dating. The beauty is opportunity. Online dating offers you an almost limitless opportunity to meet and date new people. It gives you the time and space to find what best suits you. Going to a quality dating site that isn’t trying to sell you fantasy of finding your match for you will mean you will have a pool of millions of singles to meet.

Treat matchmaking options as just another fun way to explore. It can serve as an ice breaker to start a conversation, but don’t expect them to be the answer to finding your perfect match. Keep all options open and explore possibilities. As a unique individual, only can you know what works for you. You need to develop skills to communicate and meet people. Developing both online and offline dating skills is the best way to find the right relationship.

Next time you’re brushing your teeth, take a look in the mirror. See that amazing person? That’s your matchmaker with a mouthful of toothpaste. Take charge of your life and get into action! Enjoy dating and enjoy the process of discovery. Your experiences, both good and not-so-good, are essential to finding the right person for you.

Homosexual Dating - Truth and Connection

Homosexual dating has become much more widespread and accepted in Western culture, allowing both gays and lesbians the chance to reach out to one another beyond that of closed doors. Now there are many ways you can have a rewarding homosexual dating experience, so don’t be afraid to get out there and explore all of the potential relationships you can create at a wonderful same-sex communities.

Homosexuality is a form of love that needs not to be judged or explained, because it is just another example of how when you love someone it doesn’t matter what colour their skin is, how old they are, or even what sex they are. True love knows no boundaries, has no discriminations and only wishes to be shared with another who returns the same emotions.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with this idea of love, and due to this fact, many homosexuals, regardless if they are male or female, are made to feel alienated, which can often lead to feelings of depression or loneliness. There is no reason why you should let these feelings overcome you, or let other opinions of those you care about, such as family members or friends, negatively influence your life when it comes to finding love, relationships, and homosexual dating.

Homosexual dating is about finding someone who feels the same way you do, enjoys spending time with you, treats you with respect and makes you feel like an equal. It is about being apart of a relationship with mutual understanding, which has the potential to forge a strong connection between both you and your partner.

Like any dating experience, there will be certain setbacks and struggles that you may face during homosexual dating. This is only natural, simply because in order for you to connect with someone, it is important that you feel comfortable with them.

As a gay or lesbian, you should not feel that you need to grab any opportunity that comes your way. There is no harm in starting as friends and working slowly into the relationship to discover how much you have in common. As long as you are honest with your feelings, you should have no problem finding a partner.

Homosexual dating is how you can establish an amazing connection with someone who understands you, and loves you for who you are with no questions asked. Even though you will meet some people who are destined to give you a hard time with your sexual preference, all you can do is trust your own judgments, be true to yourself, and give your love and time to those who deserve it.

When it comes to Multicultural Dating The Most Important Ingredient is Love

Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic background, to find that no matter what you try, there just seems to be no spark or real passion occurring in the relationship? Are you just about ready to give up on finding a soul mate? Well before you lose all hope in the dating world, you may want to try exploring dating someone who comes from a different culture than you. Who knows, you may just discover that a multicultural relationship is what you need to discover that special spark you've been searching for.

One of the best ways that you can explore your dating options, without having to worry about pressures from friends or family, is to join an online dating community, such as Love Empire, which is designed to bring you close to those who share the same interests as you, regardless if they are black, white, Eurasian and so on.

Love Empire allows you the chance to really explore the beauty of the multicultural dating world with no strings attached, and no outside judgments interfering with your choices. In this online dating community the only opinion that matters when it comes to dating is your own. Therefore, listen to you heart, trust your feelings and use your common sense to decide what's best for you. Besides, the whole point to dating is to have fun, and to enjoy the company of the person you choose to be with.

There is true potential in being apart of a multicultural relationship in today's society, as these relations have really become a more common and accepted part of Western culture. Because of this, blacks, whites, Eurasians and other ethnic groups have more reason to mix together than any other time in history. For instance, it has been estimated that in Britain alone, over 30 percent of black men are either living with or are married to white women, and over 20 percent of black women are living with or married to white men. When you stop to think about that, it's truly beautiful to know that something such as multicultural relationships has grown from a small minority and become common and socially recognized.

Don't be afraid to believe in love and companionship, no matter what others may think of your interracial dating. Remember, the most important ingredient to any relationship is love. No force on this Earth is greater than that of love, and once you find it gender, age, race, and religion are nothing more than small details that add to the beauty of the individual you love.

Dating Online - The new way to meet people

A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. Dating in the 21st century has taken many turns, among these the emerging popularity of meeting partners online.

Online dating has many benefits. The shy dater can open up and get to know a person without having to deal with first-date jitters that often come from fear of the unknown. By the time he or she meets the potential paramour, they have already established a comfort level that allows the date to flow much more smoothly.

At the other end of the spectrum, social butterflies love online dating because of the number of fish in the sea. With so many people to choose from, booking several dates in a short amount of time is easy. Online dating allows you to be discreet, and it also enables you to be choosy. You choose partners based on common interests gleaned from dating profiles. This is an attractive alternative to approaching a potential mate in a bar going on looks alone.

As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself. Professional writers and photographers offer services to assist you with your dating profile. They hawk services to help you attract more hits to your online profile, which obviously helps lead to more dating options.

Dating websites vary. Some require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Other dating sites offer free private e-mail accounts and access to thousands of profiles without paying a dime. When engaging in online dating, however, it is important to exercise caution.

Remember that anyone with Internet access has access to these sites. It is virtually impossible for dating sites to weed out the bad seeds; the online dater must take care in setting up dates with strangers. When first meeting face-to-face, choose a public place. Don't divulge too much information until you have a good idea of the person's character. Be careful not to tell too much too soon. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting.

Dating Advice: Love Shouldn't Hurt

"Because when pain has been intertwined with love and closeness, it's very difficult to believe that love and closeness can be experienced without pain." -Gloria Steinem, "Revolution from Within."

If you tend to attract men who disappoint you (by cheating on you, not showing up when they say they will, or just refusing to get off the couch), you may be confusing love with pain.

So many of us have been brought up to believe that pain is normal, even expected, in a love relationship. Without it, the relationship seems flat, boring. We crave drama. (Why is it that so many women have great sex after a fight with a significant other?)

A happy, loving relationship eludes us because we don't recognize it when we see it, or because we simply believe it's not possible (News Flash: According to a recent Today Show, all men lie. All of them! I wasn't aware that men have a monopoly on lying or other bad behavior. I know some women who are breathtaking liars. Don't you?).

According to the media, men are incapable of remembering birthdays, being monogamous, getting through a weekend unless they're transfixed before a marathon of football games. Women internalize these messages: That's the way men are. That's the way life is. Get over it.

And while the media is happy to sell us the myth of the unattainable happy relationship, some of us have come to believe in it because of our own experiences.

Some of us:

(a) Had parents who treated each other indifferently, (b) had parents who outright hated each other, (c) had fathers who ignored us as children, (d) had a parent who suffered from alcoholism, (e) had mothers who would rather have been doing something else, or (f) had a parent who suffered from a mental illness.

And so, we learned to associate love with pain. It's all we knew.

Others among us grew up in perfectly happy homes with parents who loved each other and delighted in us, but we still managed to:

(a) Internalize negative messages we heard from our friends' parents who were unhappily married, or

(b) Internalize negative messages we saw elsewhere (I know a woman who, during her impressionable teenage years, babysat for a couple who gave each other the silent treatment and expected her to relay messages. She also babysat for another family, where the father once came home early and started reading a porn magazine!).

As a result of this programming, we set low bars for the behavior we'll accept from boyfriends or husbands. Hey, it's better than being alone, right?

Wrong.

If you're putting up with substandard behavior from men, make decision to stop. Refuse to date anybody until you attract a man who makes your happiness a priority. Trust me; such a man will come into your life and stay there.

Treat him as you have come to expect him to treat you, which means with affection, respect, and consideration. Does this sound boring to you? If it does, please examine your feelings about relationships and see if they haven't determined the kind of men you attract.

You see, once you stop dating men who disappoint you but excite you, you can make room for a guy who loves you the way you deserve to be loved--and who excites you. Love and excitement are important, but if they're accompanied by pain, something's wrong. You'll never be truly happy with a guy who lets you down.

Ask yourself, "Where did I ever get the idea that love has to hurt?"

Give yourself time to come up with the answers. Take stock of whether your relationship is worth saving. If you speak up, will it make a difference? If not, are you willing to make room for a man who will love you and make you laugh instead of cry for a change?

"Because when pain has been intertwined with love and closeness, it's very difficult to believe that love and closeness can be experienced without pain." -Gloria Steinem, "Revolution from Within."

If you tend to attract men who disappoint you (by cheating on you, not showing up when they say they will, or just refusing to get off the couch), you may be confusing love with pain.

So many of us have been brought up to believe that pain is normal, even expected, in a love relationship. Without it, the relationship seems flat, boring. We crave drama. (Why is it that so many women have great sex after a fight with a significant other?)

A happy, loving relationship eludes us because we don't recognize it when we see it, or because we simply believe it's not possible (News Flash: According to a recent Today Show, all men lie. All of them! I wasn't aware that men have a monopoly on lying or other bad behavior. I know some women who are breathtaking liars. Don't you?).

According to the media, men are incapable of remembering birthdays, being monogamous, getting through a weekend unless they're transfixed before a marathon of football games. Women internalize these messages: That's the way men are. That's the way life is. Get over it.

And while the media is happy to sell us the myth of the unattainable happy relationship, some of us have come to believe in it because of our own experiences.

Some of us:

(a) Had parents who treated each other indifferently, (b) had parents who outright hated each other, (c) had fathers who ignored us as children, (d) had a parent who suffered from alcoholism, (e) had mothers who would rather have been doing something else, or (f) had a parent who suffered from a mental illness.

And so, we learned to associate love with pain. It's all we knew.

Others among us grew up in perfectly happy homes with parents who loved each other and delighted in us, but we still managed to:

(a) Internalize negative messages we heard from our friends' parents who were unhappily married, or

(b) Internalize negative messages we saw elsewhere (I know a woman who, during her impressionable teenage years, babysat for a couple who gave each other the silent treatment and expected her to relay messages. She also babysat for another family, where the father once came home early and started reading a porn magazine!).

As a result of this programming, we set low bars for the behavior we'll accept from boyfriends or husbands. Hey, it's better than being alone, right?

Wrong.

If you're putting up with substandard behavior from men, make decision to stop. Refuse to date anybody until you attract a man who makes your happiness a priority. Trust me; such a man will come into your life and stay there.

Treat him as you have come to expect him to treat you, which means with affection, respect, and consideration. Does this sound boring to you? If it does, please examine your feelings about relationships and see if they haven't determined the kind of men you attract.

You see, once you stop dating men who disappoint you but excite you, you can make room for a guy who loves you the way you deserve to be loved--and who excites you. Love and excitement are important, but if they're accompanied by pain, something's wrong. You'll never be truly happy with a guy who lets you down.

Ask yourself, "Where did I ever get the idea that love has to hurt?"

Give yourself time to come up with the answers. Take stock of whether your relationship is worth saving. If you speak up, will it make a difference? If not, are you willing to make room for a man who will love you and make you laugh instead of cry for a change?